Along the same lines as its younger, more sensational cousin, the Darwin Awards, Yahoo's Associated Press/Reuters Odd News is typically among the day's highlights. By turns touching, disgusting, depressing, and hilarious, these offbeat nuggets comprise a telling cross-section of earthly folly and oddity. It's the Human Comedy, writ large. The people who write these stories, by the way, are fucking geniuses. The headlines alone are worth the preice of admission (which is totally free anyway).
You can pursue these stories as you see fit, but I've grabbed some representative phrases, headlines, etc. Let's take a look at some of today's gems, shall we?
"An Indian man who left his wife and two young children two years ago shocked his family when he returned home as an eunuch, wearing garish red lipstick."
"President Bush joked about hosting the White House Cinco de Mayo party on Wednesday, May 4, saying, 'Next year I'm going to have to work on my math.'" Right. Joked.
"[Amal] Dorai, a student at the Massacussetts Institute of Technology, is hosting a Time Traveler Convention on campus this Saturday." Chances that a time traveller will show up at the party: one in a million. However, if one does show up, his/her message is likely to include the following: "Forty years from now, you will all still be virgins."
Headline of the day: 'Whore College' Offers Hands-On Training
"A woman identified by authorities as Denise Coke was arrested after a drug-sniffing dog discovered 33 pounds of cocaine in her vehicle." You just can't escape your destiny.
"The [penguins] will be released on a giant bingo board and allowed to waddle around. The numbers will be called whenever a bird, ahem, goes to the bathroom on a numbered square."
"...the two drivers got out and started an argument that ended with O'Neil allegedly pulling out a broadsword with a blade more than three feet long." The argument went something like this: "Do not pass the mighty O'Neil on the right! O'Neil is a level-ten warrior with berzerker powers and many hit points!" O'Neil would have slain the interloper, but he was running late for the Time Travellers Convention.
Riding the Bus with My Sister UPDATE: The best thing ever just got even better! TVGasm has posted an mp3 mash-up of Retarded Rosie dialogue and Pat O'Brien's infamous dirty voicemail message. I am definitely out of my league in the blogosphere.
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